Miami – An Intervention

Alright Miami, it’s time we had a talk. Your masked insecurities are coming off as pretentious elitism.

I get it. You were built on a swamp. Now you are worried your Mar-A-Lago POTUS is failing to acknowledge climate change, and that might put you back under water. However, that’s no excuse to charge over ten bucks in tolls to drive from one side of town to the other. And, while we’re on the topic of traffic, do you really need massive light up signs to remind drivers that running over the plastic dividers in the road is illegal? Perhaps, by solving your constant congestion, the issue would work itself out.

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South Beach around sunset

I don’t mean to berate you Miami. There are redeeming qualities! Lo De Lea Argentinian Grill, for example, makes a mean skirt steak with generous wine portions at a reasonable rate. Also, Concrete Beach Brewery created a great atmosphere by placing their service bar in the middle of open-space indoor/outdoor seating that offers a full view into the production facility. However, I’m a little concerned its Wyndham neighborhood drank a little too much of the Stiltsville Pilsner and is having trouble walking the fine line between hip and sketchy.

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Skirt Steak at Lo De Lea

C’mon Miami. Your income disparity is the largest of all major US cities. Do you really need an endless stream of Lamborghini’s parading by the man sleeping in the bus stop? Should iced coffee really be served in a martini glass? No. No, it shouldn’t.

Those who have taken their talents to South Beach have packed up and left. It’s time to take a long hard look inward and ask yourself ‘Is this the best me, Miami?’

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